Thursday, August 23, 2012

How I Know That The Year Is Almost Over

I posted a “spur-of-the-moment” type of status/rant on my personal facebook, and I got so many likes and “you crack me up” comments that I decided to go a little into detail about my rant.

It is almost the end of August, which actually means that Summer is OVER, DUNZO, FINNITO! Can someone please explain to me where the Summer went? I literally went to the beach ONCE, just once this Summer, and really, this is unfair in so many levels.

With the end of Summer, comes the magical time which fashionistas all over the world like to call FASHION WEEK, the magical time when I will be depressed about my lack of extra funds to spend on fabulous designer outfits, which will also result in my obsession of going on a particularly strict diet, because let’s face it, looking at 6ft tall, size zero models on the runway is terribly depressing for my 5ft average body, petite me. Fashion Week marks the first “WTF” moment on how I know that the year is almost over.

The start of the strict diet after fashion week marks the reminder of – HALLOWEEN is coming up, what slutty pop singer or mythical creature am I dressing up as this year? The strict diet after looking at the runway models sets an extremely high standard as to what my costume is going to look like. In past years, I have dressed up as a pin-up, a ring leader aka Britney Spears, Lady Gaga from the Bad Romance video, Medusa, just to name a few. Halloween alone is exhausting! And, after my strict diet so that I can fit in a slutty costume I finally cut myself some slack, which brings me to the second realization that the year is almost over…….


THANKSGIVING! Ahhh! The other magical night when I stop by the grocery store last minute and buy everything needed for dinner and I drop everything off at my mom’s house so she can work her magic and I can stuff my face with delicious turkey, stuffing, cranberry and all other delicious foods served on that night. Let’s face it, after being deprived for Halloween I go ALL out on Thanksgiving (and leftovers are so mighty delicious!) After my face stuffing time, comes the guilt trip, and with that comes…..


CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!!!!! Oh yes, nothing as rewarding as buying gifts, oh the joyous multiple trips to the mall, no parking, long lines, Christmas decoration galore….beautiful and jolly! (NOT!) However, at this point I feel fat, bloated and guilty of how much turkey I ate, and my only salvation is retail therapy. Oh, comes Christmas time, my bank account absolutely hates me. I am literally scrapping for pennies, because my retail therapy salvation has left me pretty broke! And, what is the best way to cope with this feeling????


Drinking like a pirate on NEW YEARS EVE! Oh you mighty delicious eggnog, you delicious champagne and sweet & smooth cocktails….and, just like that, in the blink of an eye the year is OVER!  Mid-August is exhausting; I am exhausted just thinking about everything that lies ahead to finalize the year…Pheew! Please hold, off I go find out where to watch Fashion Week and elaborate on my ideas for my Halloween costume.

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